Monday, May 9, 2011

Everything is bigger in Tejas...

After speaking to a few of my close friends, I have been urged to share an experience about an incident that happened to me last Monday.

Here it goes.

It was a typical Monday for me. I got up late because I didn't have to be into work until 10:30, showered, got ready, gave the hubby a kiss goodbye and went to make monotonous calls for 6 hours or so.

The 6 hours at work weren't bad. I actually ended up getting a ton of answering machines that day, so I was left to put updates in the system and proof. I love days that I just get answering machines. It's almost like I'm getting paid to do nothing. SWEET.

And then it was 5:00 pm. Quittin' time! I clock out, rush to my car, jump in, and start my 15 minute drive home.

So I'm driving, and totally just belting my lungs out to Taylor Swift which happens almost on a daily basis, and then I decide that I'd better switch lanes because this doofus in front of me is driving too slow.

And that's when I saw him y'all. (or maybe it was a her, I'm no expert on bug genitals and I never plan to be. ever.)

Oh yes my friends, this is no exaggeration.

I look over my left shoulder to check my blind spot and there this guy is, two inches from me, and about to eat my face off.

Let the screaming commence.

I screamed.

and screamed.


I was FREAKING OUT. Hyperventilating.

How I pulled over to the side of the highway, I'm not sure, but it happened and it's all a blur in my memory now.

Oh, did I mention that it was 45 degrees last Monday, and it was a POURING rain!? Torrential you guys, seriously, SO COLD, SO WET. I was dripping wet like I had stepped into a shower within two seconds.

So after finding pieces of paper and my poor children's Book of Mormon stories that were in my car, I was able to fish that big sucker out. Of course, he (or she) thought it'd be funny to fall in that crevice between the driver's seat and the outside of your car.

Ya, that was fun.

So I finally get this bug out, and like I said, I am dripping wet. That's when my own water works started. I was bawling!! Like sobbing, and holding myself because I was so dang scared. I'm not kidding, I swear that thing was out to take my life. I could almost see it's gaping buggy of a mouth going for the kill!

And ya, that's pretty much my story. After I got back into the car and calmed myself down I was able to get home safe and sound.

But you can bet your bottom that my car has gotten the major bug inspection before I've driven it since.

Sweet dreams my friends :)



  1. I would've freaked out too! Just think though, if you can survive something as crazy as that....Motherhood for you is gonna be easy cheesy rice and peasy! :):) And I know you're saying to yourself "What does being a mother have to do with crazy large bugs near my perfectly perfect face?" It's not the bugs you'll have to deal with, but the many surprizes that'll make you scream, cry, and breath a sigh of relief when they are over.

  2. HAHAHAHAHAHA Amber, that is like the BEST story ever. Oh heavens, so funny. And I would have done the EXACT same thing! That thing is sooo scary lookin! UGH!